Raise your hand if you went to College. Raise your hand if you went to college because you were taught that you needed to in order to be successful. Raise your hand if you're in debt because of your college education. OK, if you raised your hand to a majority (if not all of those), then you and I are in the same boat. This boat has a tuition sized hole right in the middle of it, and we are trying to shove our monthly payment plans into it to stop the leak long enough for us to be able to row a little bit closer to our destination ( our dreams, aspirations, success). Some of us might be blessed enough to have parents to help us either row or clog the hole but it's still a long way to the end.
I am 25 years old, I have so much I want to do, and I am trying to build towards my future, but I wake up some mornings with so much anxiety it's sometimes unbearable. Sometimes I can't even fall asleep at night because I am calculating in my head over and over again "how the hell am I going to get out of this debt?!" And then they go and add interest to injury. I literally feel my chest tighten and I have one hand on my inhaler telling my self "It's going to be ok Woods, just breath." Everyday I have to wake up and make the same decision "Are you going to invest towards your goals or your debt today? Is there a way to do both and still make a substantial difference in either one?" Is there a complaint form I can fill out against the United States Higher Education System? Because I want to know why in the world they convinced a 17 year old me that I needed to sign my life away to them in order to "make it in life".
When I was younger the adults in my life told me that having a bachelors degree meant something. Nowadays, you walk into an interview with a bachelors degree and they look at you like "Yes... and?" Have you ever worked at a place and after a while thought to yourself "... why does this job require a bachelors degree? My little cousin could do this"? And now the job that you want, the one you know you can do, and will pay you enough that (with proper money management and budgeting skills) you can get out of student loan debt in a reasonable amount of time wants you to have a Masters degree... EXCUSE ME?! Lady I'm not falling for that school scam again!
How about the jobs that want you to have a gazillion years experience? I mean, can somebody tell me who's hiring the "inexperienced"? I mean if everybody wants someone with experience then, where am I suppose to get it? Because clearly the FOUR TO FIVE YEARS I spent studying this stuff doesn't count. Can I get a refund then? Because this isn't working out the way it was advertised. It's broken, my bachelors degree is broken. Was it suppose to come with batteries or something? Because it's not working...
Anyways, going to college, in retrospect, feels like a really bad plea bargain. Like... I'll serve the 4-5 and if I don't hit the lotto or come into some great inheritance within 6 month (grace period my behind), then i'll be on house arrest for the rest of my life. Honestly, I'd rather serve 10 and then be free to roam about the country... you feel me? Don't get me wrong, I enjoyed college for the most part. I met a lot of good people. I learned A LOT. I learned myself. I made memories I will never forget. Was any of it worth this debt, these headaches, these stress attacks? Not in a million years.
I could rant on and on about this, but that'd be a pretty depressing thing to do. And so I have to constantly choose not to sit and fester in that agony. And that is why I wanted to write this post. To some of you, you may not understand this struggle and you should count that as a blessing. But, to those of you who are rowing in that boat, on the same river, I'm here to tell you, I get it! I understand! I'm right there with you. It is hard and it is ok to say it out loud, it is not easy. You are not alone. But understand, this is not the end. You've got this. This debt will not cripple you forever. Don't let anybody make you feel bad for your struggle, and don't let that person be you either. Do the best you can, learn as much as you can about your debt and all of your options, and then live your life. And if sometimes the load feels a little to heavy... you can always strip for the money. I'M TOTALLY JOKING! Just breath and don't be afraid to ask for help. The folks setting up the rules, don't realize that the game has changed since they last played. It's frustrating, and its also not your fault. I don't know what else to say. I just wanted to let you know that you are not alone, and that it's going to be ok. How do I know? I feel it in my bones.... and my bones never lie . So breathe WE got this.
- Woods
Lighting up the woods, one Syllable at a time
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