Updated: Apr 24, 2019
I know, I know, it’s been a while. I’m sorry! But I can explain. Gather around, grab your popcorn, and I’ll tell you a quick story. I’ll wait while you get comfortable…
… you ready? Oh sure, I can wait another minute…
Alright, soooo I MOVED! Ahhhhh! Yup, sure did. The last 5 months have been craaazy. So, no I haven’t been ignoring ya’ll, I’ve just been super super busy.
Ok ok, lets back track for a minute. Last time you checked I was living in MA (i.e.. Boston, i.e.. City of Champions). So, for years I kept saying that I would move out of MA. I knew it wasn’t where I needed to be. But I was comfortable. I mean, I had no real bills to pay, I had a part time job with awesome coworkers (Shout out Westie Afterschool Staff), a theater I could consistently be a part of, friends… you know, comfort. But you know that feeling when you know you have to do something? Well honey, that feeling came-a-knocking. Maaaan it was beating on my chest like King Kong ready for war. It was like everyday I woke up, I knew I wasn’t where I was supposed to be. So I started looking for a place to move. I had it narrowed down to 3: LA, Atlanta, and New York (If my friend Niecy asks, tell her Arizona was on the list too lol). I did a butt load of research on them and weighed out the pros and cons. Eventually, I settled on New York.
But once I started really looking for a place, that’s when I realized that it wasn’t just comfort that was holding me back. Once the possibility of leaving became real, I realized I was afraid. I had so much fear about so many things. The inevitable "what if" series. For one, what if I fail. No seriously, what if I go out there and I can’t hold down a job, or I can’t pay my bills, or I can’t keep my house in order? What if I fail. What if I can’t make friends? What if people don’t like me, I don’t get invited anywhere, I don’t fit in? Am I leaving behind a good thing? What about my mom and my siblings, am I abandoning them? My niece? And along with many more fears was the biggest one of all… What if this is the wrong decision?
But it wasn’t just fear, I also had so many questions. Why was I really leaving? Was I running away from something? Had I accomplished everything I was supposed to in this city? Was I running to something? Had I properly prayed about this? What city did I want to move to? How long did I plan on staying? Is this temporary, extended, or forever? Is this the right decision?
Now, I can tell you the longer version of the story another time; but I’m writing to get to this point:
It came down to a decision.
I had to make a decision and then live towards it.
I decided that I was moving and that was that. I’m telling you I don’t know why it takes me so long to learn these lessons. There have been so many things that I’ve wanted to do but never did. And I think back now, and all I really had to do was decide. I chose a date and marked it in my calendar. October 1st. There was no significance to the date, I just decided. I told myself I had to be gone by October 1st. Then I started telling people that I was moving (not everyone though). When folks would plan things with me, I’d say “oh I’ll be gone by then, I’m moving.” Child, *dramatic pause* I QUIT MY JOB! I had no apartment lined up. I set up 2 weeks worth of job interviews in NY for the first 2 weeks of October, all the while I didn’t know where I was going to rest my head at night. But I had decided. I started packing my clothes! I didn’t even own a closet in NY yet, but I had decided. I spent countless weekends in NY looking at apartments. I had countless conversations with some wonderful folks in NY who were all helping me search (I’ll tell you about them in the longer story). And on September 30th at 2am, I packed my godfathers’ truck and drove down to NY in the middle of the night. And none of this would’ve happened if it wasn’t for that one decision.
So if you’re reading this, and there is something you’ve always dreamt of doing. If you’re reading this and there is something you know you want but are too afraid to go after it. If you are reading this and you just feel like all the ducks aren’t in a row yet. I need you to just DECIDE!
Like the bible says, Life and death lie in the power of the tongue (Proverbs 18:21). So, speak it. “Write down the revelation and make it plain on tablets so that a herald may run with it (Habakkuk 2:2).” Write it down.
Make a decision, and then live towards it.
I know it’s easier said than done. Trust me, if I got this, YOU GOT THIS!
Lighting up the woods, one Syllable at a time