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  • Woods


Hey beautiful people! Gather around and let me tell you a story. Now I have always been a pretty nice person. (When you meet me in person and take a moment to get to know me, you can make up your mind about that for yourself) What I have come to realize is that no matter how nice of a person you may be, trouble comes for everyone. When having to do life with people (which is kind of a huge part of being human) we are all bound to run into some trouble with somebody. About a year ago I attended the wedding of an old college buddy of mine. I had the chance to catch up with a couple more of my friends from college, and you know how that goes: ALL ABOARD THE MEMORY LANE TRAIN! TOOT TOOT! So as we're sitting there swapping stories, somebody says "Oh we use to call you "the knock at the door", HERE COMES THE KNOCK AT THE DOOR!" And everyone laughs. So me, confused, replies "What does that mean?"

Him: Come on Woods, you know every time there was an issue, here you come knocking on somebody's door to talk.

Me: Well yyea, we not just gonna let things fester.

Him: Nah you're right, it was just hella funny though.

This brings us to Lesson number 9:


See I am not a fan of altercations. I HATE having to have tough and awkward conversations. You hear me? HATE! But you know what I hate even more than that? Well here's a list:

  1. Unnecessary drama and conflict

  2. Watching the spirit of confusion divide people

  3. Jumping to conclusions and holding grudges based on un-verified information

  4. Awkward tension and energy

  5. Child, I could list more.... need I continue?

I know you can think of at least one time in your life where there was some sort of "altercation" and when the truth was finally laid on the table it turned out to be nothing but a mix of miscommunication and assumptions. Intentions are misunderstood. Feelings are hurt and never expressed. Rumors start going around. And nobody seems to know how this all got started. But everyone seems to believe they're "justified". Well let me ask you a question, would you rather be right? Or have peace? If you'd rather be right... then this post is not for you. If you'd rather have peace... continue.

Here are the benefits of having an honest conversation (and I'm speaking from experience):

  1. You just might find out the issue isn't as big as it seemed

  2. You get a full picture of what the situation was

  3. You now have more clarity to help you decide how to move forward

  4. You might just reconcile a friendship/relationship

  5. You have fewer people on the list of folks you don't talk to

  6. You find out the truth

  7. You know that you have done everything in your power to pursue peace

  8. You tell darkness it has no power in your life

  9. You release unforgiveness in your heart

  10. Believe it or not, it benefits your mental health

You see, the bible says in Matthew 5:23-24

“Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother or sister has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First, go and be reconciled to them; then come and offer your gift.

That verse always tripped me out because it doesn't even say if I have a problem with them. It says if I remember that THEY have a problem with me. Like you mean to tell me even if I'm not the one with the issue, it's still my responsibility to pursue peace?! Yes. Yes, it is.

What I have come to discover in my (seemingly annoying) pursuit of peace is that MOST ISSUES are simply a product of miscommunication. Others are a product of assumptions. Some .... a product of the enemy throwing confusion into a mix to create problems and division. If we are not careful to be vigilant and committed to peace, these things often win and taint even the most beautiful and purposeful relationships. Another thing I've learned is that not everyone cares for reconciliation. Not everyone will feel inclined to start the conversation; but, that doesn't mean they are opposed to it. More often than not, they'll appreciate the initiative. So go on and be the leader you are and lead by example.

Now that all sounds great. But the truth is, I said MOST. An honest conversation can solve MOST issues. You will find that in your pursuit for peace some people are just committed to anger. That is none of your concern. If you tried, don't beat yourself up if your olive branch is rejected. Don't feel stupid. Walk away with your head held high, dust off your feet, say a prayer for them, and go on about your business. Don't hold a grudge now. They just weren't in the right space to receive that. Maybe in the future, they might, maybe not. But don't hold it against them. We all have room to grow. But I promise you, you will feel and sleep much better knowing that you tried.

Ayye, don't just take my word for it. Go try it for yourself, and then come back and let me know how it went.

- Woods

Lighting up the woods, one Syllable at a time

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